Many people have nearly worked themselves into exhaustion trying to stay busy so they wouldn’t feel the pain that was the normal and natural by-product of the loss that affected them. We know the primary reason that the myth of keeping busy persists is because it is linked—almost like a satellite—to another major myth, that Grief Just Takes Time or Time Heals All Wounds.
That myth fuels the idea that keeping busy is a good thing to do. The basis for that dangerous combination of beliefs is the idea that if I keep busy today, then another day will have gone by, which allows the myth of Time Healing to make the pain go away.
Of course that is totally incorrect, as the longer you wait to address the emotions connected to your loss, the more difficult it is to access those feelings. They get tucked away, buried out of sight, but still affecting you even if you’re not consciously aware of what’s going on under the surface.
It’s bad enough that the idea of keeping busy is so inextricably tied to the false idea that the passage of time can heal anything, but it’s magnified Myth 6: Keep Busy by connection to one of the other myths – the first one, Don’t Feel Bad. Again, if we think we’re not supposed to feel bad—even though feeling bad or sad is the normal reaction to loss of any kind—then keeping busy is another way of trying to bypass the normal feelings of sadness and pain associated with loss.